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5 Reasons Families Fight about Senior Care

At Home Care Assistance of Albuquerque, we understand that the topic of care for an aging parent bring deep emotions to the surface, both good and bad. In fact, once a family has agreed that care is needed, arguments often spark over several different issues. Here are 5 common reasons why families fight about senior care in Albuquerque.

  1. Money Matters
    Sometimes special expenses arise in regards to senior care that weren’t expected or planned. Other times, money just runs out. When this happens, families often fight about who should contribute, and how much they should contribute toward the costs for care. A good way to resolve this is to have a family meeting with all members present, whether in person or by phone. All expenses should be laid out in the open, and members should be honest about what they can contribute. The important thing is not to judge or criticize.
  2. Division of Labor
    Ideally, all family members will share in the tasks of caregiving in some way. One person may make visits, another can take care of medication needs or shopping, while another handles the finances. However, the division of labor isn’t always clear for all families. Arguments often ensue about what one person or another is doing to help. Family members need to be realistic about their expectations. The reality is while everyone can contribute something, the burden of caregiving is usually not shared equally. Family members should be allowed the freedom to decide what they can individually contribute.
  3. Power Struggles
    Family members sometimes disagree about the type of care needed for their loved one. One person may think home care in Albuquerque is in the parent’s best interest, while another feels prefers institutionalized care. Extreme differences also tend to come to the forefront when end of life issues are confronted. It’s important to discuss the specific needs of your aging loved one, as well as their personal wishes. Then, your family can determine which option would provide the senior with quality care, comfort and happiness. During all discussions, it is important to consider what each family member has to say, rather than acting out emotionally.
  4. Unexpected Behavior
    Arguments sometimes rage when a family member acts differently than others would expect toward an ailing parent. Old age and the idea of death can bring out feelings of fear and uncertainty. In fact, it’s not uncommon to have a family member who unexpectedly disconnects from the whole situation. When this happens, it is best to realize that they are working through their own feelings about what they see happening to parents. It is best to give them some time to resolve their own emotional issues.
  5. Old Arguments Revisited
    This is an argument about unresolved problems from the past. Stress from this type of situation can cause families to bring up past conflicts. For instance, the oldest sibling may claim the youngest never takes responsibility, starting an argument about underlying issues that don’t need to be discussed. It is important that siblings focus on what is needed now, instead of dwelling on the past.

The most important thing to remember with family relationships is that the only behavior you can truly control is your own. Patience, understanding, and forgiveness should be extended to siblings when a family is in crisis.

If your family needs help and support during this difficult time, reach out to Home Care Assistance at 505-798-0800. We offer flexible care plans including part-time care and live-in or 24 hour care in Albuquerque. With the support of our highly trained and caregivers, your family can enjoy a renewed sense of peace and comfort.